Do I really sound like that?!

My friend Sue told me a story about a radio station contest for Mother’s Day. The contestants were to call in and do their best impression of their mother. Winners and their mom would win some wonderful prizes.

Sue said she listened to caller after caller barking out orders about homework and cleaning up rooms. She was mortified at the thought of her kids broadcasting such an horrible stereotype.

So I did what any mom would do. I explained the contest my 13 year old son and asked him for his best impression of me. To my surprise, in the crabbiest tone he screeched, “clean up this mess!!”

Now, I rarely yell. It’s not really my style. I suppose I’m like my mother that way. My brother and I knew when our mom started yelling that she was really angry. And we had driven her to it. All it took for us to stop and scatter was merely the sound of the kitchen drawer flashing open – the kitchen drawer that housed the wooden spoon. That’s where things are different in my house. My kids think that wooden spoons are for making brownies.

Parenting is tricky. What works for one family may not work for others. We think that leading by example is a pretty good idea and try to do that in our house. Mutual respect is another good one, which is one of the reasons that I don’t yell (because it’s not alright for my kids to yell at me).

I pondered.

I wondered if any of it made any difference at all. While I hear my calm but firm voice asking my kids to pick up their things, maybe they have some kind of filter that simply turns those words into a demanding unbecoming tone. There was definitely a disconnect.

So I asked him if he really thought I sounded like that? He said no. I asked him why he would say that that I did for the contest. He said simply “nobody wins contests by saying “Skate Honey, skate! Way to be!” Maybe he wouldn’t have won. But I sure felt better.

Super Credit! Charitable Giving with the FDSC

I was working on a project yesterday as the 2013 Canadian Budget came out. To help Canadians better understand the federal government’s new First-Time Donor’s Super Credit (FDSC), I created an infographic. This temporary tax credit is meant to encourage Canadians who don’t usually to give to charity.

While doing my research, I discovered some interesting facts in Canadian charitable giving. For Instance:

• Women were more likely than men to have made at least one financial donation (86% of women compared with 82% of men). It was close but women were still more likely.
• Being employed, having a university degree and belonging to a higher-income household increase both the probability of making donations and the amounts given. That just made sense. No surprises there.
• People who volunteered 60 or more hours a year were more likely to donate financially. I figure that these folks see first hand the real need.
• People give more as they age. Interesting.

Why don’t people give more? They’ll tell you.
According to their study, 37% people believed that their money would not be used efficiently so they did not give more.

This temporary credit is great news for Canadian Charitable organizations and is certain to encourage new donations. I can’t help but feel that it would have been a nice bonus to also give the extra credit to those who already donate.

Check out the infographic below and see for yourself. 

Finally a Science Fair Project we can use

My son recently represented his school in the local Hamilton System Science Fair. Science Fair time is always a grind for parents what with a dining room table full of paper scraps, glue, Sharpies and more.

My kitchen will never be the same.
This year was worse. His experiment took him to the stove in the kitchen. It was quite a disaster area. But something different happened.  We actually learned something. Something meaningful.

Mold. Flight. Genetics.
Now in past we learned that supermarket white bread never grows mold; we learned that paper airplanes fly better without junk glued to it; and we learned that my sons probably both have blue eyes because my husband and I have them. But this year, we learned something we can actually use.

It turns out that we drink a lot of sugar. Lots.

Now it’s no cure for any disease, nor will it help us to save the environment, but it did get him to think twice about what he’s pouring for himself.  When he measured all those teaspoons of sugar, representing how much was in each drink, into those little ziplock bags, the results were shocking.

Almost five teaspoons of sugar in a small glass of orange juice. Five teaspoons in a cup of chocolate milk. Cola was off the charts. What was even more interesting was what he learned next.

In his class, he discovered that every kid surveyed drank more than twice the amount of their daily-recommended allowance. Every day. That sugar intake does not take into account anything in their food, desserts or treats. Just what they drink.

Now we all think twice about what we’re drinking. I’d sooner spend my sugar intake on a glass of wine. This helps while supervising the cleanup in the dining room and the kitchen.

I’m sure he hates that he knows so much about the health problems that sugar can lead to, like diabetes. He likes sweets too much. In the meantime, he can enjoy his silver award and start to prepare for the Bay Area Science and Engineering Fair (BASEF) coming up this month. There he can get some inspiration for a good project for next year. I’m guessing something that isn’t so limiting on treats.

How Can all the Referees Need Glasses?

What is Black and White and needs glasses? Hockey referees.
Or so many seem to think.

In our house, we live hockey. I have two boys in Rep, and both my husband and I play in recreational leagues. We have a rink in the backyard every winter in case we’re not already on the ice enough. Great exercise, team spirit, plus it’s just plain fun.

We discovered that minor hockey is real community volunteer effort. From the board members, to the conveners, managers and coaches – all of these folks give up a ton of time to serve our community and our kids. We’re really thankful. And the parents always make sure their kids get to their games and practices on time. It’s quite a machine.

But I have to say – people are a little rough on the referees. And I don’t think it’s right.

“Watch the #$&@ game!”
“C’mon Stripes! Homer!” More often it’s worse. If there is one thing that people are most vocal about, it’s the referees. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever made it through a game without someone yelling at the refs, whether it was a parent, a coach or a player – and I’ve been to a lot of games! Sometimes I get so uncomfortable that I want to leave the rink.

Just a bad idea
Now, for the game itself, yelling at the ref is not constructive. Referees won’t change the call because the coach or parents yell at them. In fact it can do more harm. Yelling can lead to bench fouls, which lead to penalty kills, which can lead to a goal scored against the team. Even if no bench penalty is called, yelling at the refs distract players from playing the game. It’s just a bad idea!

I understand about passion and competitiveness. And sure, sometimes there may be a bad call, but there is a clear protocol to challenging a referee. Perhaps naively, I believe that referees are trying their best. More importantly, we need to remember that our kids are always watching and learning.

There’s no yelling in T-Ball!
When my son Matt turned twelve last summer, he became a baseball umpire. He has been playing baseball since he was little. He knows and loves the game. He went to umpire clinics, studied his Little League manual and was continuously evaluated.

Conveners place rookies with more experienced umps officiating the younger age players’ games. I’m quite certain that he never tried to throw a game by making poor calls. He got his share of parents yelling – especially in T-Ball.

So where have our manners gone?
How can we teach our kids to take responsibility for themselves when we spend so much time blaming referees? It shouldn’t be ok yell at anyone that way – not your accountant, or your mechanic or your pizza delivery guy. So why is it ok on the ice?

Wouldn’t it be more constructive to show the kids how to challenge respectfully? We could teach them how to take responsibility for what they do have control over – their actions and their attitude. These are all things that they will draw upon throughout life.

We are all doing so much to foster this beautiful Canadian game, but I believe we are falling short on some really important lessons.

And just to note… Matt doesn’t want to ump again this summer. “Too much yelling.”